Inter Office Messaging System
by TH3angelinH3LL
Summary: Angel is trying to get some work done, but an instant message from W&H's inter-office messaging system disrupts him. Spike is bored. Oneshot with possibility of becoming a multi chaptered parody drabble-ish thing. Warning: CRACK!
1. S P I K E ! ! !

**AN: **_One shot! Who knows, maybe I'll put more of this silliness together at a later date. Enjoy the crack ;]._

_Set sometime after Spike becomes corporeal inside the inner offices of W&H._

_Haha! Enjoy/Review._

Angel sat at his desk, leaning forward to rest his head upon his arms, face down in a pile of papers. He was just beginning to form a proper thought as a shrill 'BLING' noise came from the computer beside him and he jumped, grasping the arms of the chair. He stared the infernal machine down for a few moments, the crease in his brow widening as if trying to intimidate it. A long pointer finger stretched out to press the button on the monitor, the slight electric fuzz filling the immediate space. He took a deep breath in and back out, "You can do this." The screen lit up, a window on the task bar blinking orange. "Fred has been taking time out of her busy physic-ologist-ical day to teach you how to use this thing." He moved the mouse, a few tries before he got the pointer over the annoyed program window and pulled it up. "New message from Spike69URFACE?" Angel shook his head with a slight grin and opened the instant messaging program.

**Spike69URFACE:**Ello, daddy!

Angel began to type, more messaging noises annoying his sensitive ear drums.

**Spike69URFACE:** Have you figured out how to use one of these things yet?

**Spike69URFACE:** No? I didn't think so.

**Spike69URFACE:** I'm going to annoy you with loud noises because, no doubt, you haven't figured out how to turn the volume down yet.

Angel blinked, staring at the machine. Turning the volume down would be very beneficial right now. He made a mental note to harass Fred about it later.

**MrBOSSman2U:** Spike...

**Spike69URFACE:**Oh haha! Thats bloody brilliant that name!

**MrBOSSman2U:**Where are you?

**Spike69URFACE:** Not even a hello? Or an I miss you muffin?!

**Spike69URFACE:**Rudearse.

**MrBOSSman2U:** Fred set it up for me, she picked the name.

**Spike69URFACE:** Oh yeah, there you go blaming it on poor Fred again!

**Spike69URFACE:** I'm in dearest Wesley's office. He's gone down to the lab to pine over little Winifred.

**MrBOSSman2U:** I've never blamed Fred for anything!

**Spike69URFACE:**Oh pish posh, darling. What about that time you got jelly doughnut all over your nice silk shirt?

**MrBOSSman2U:**Thats because it was her fault.

**Spike69URFACE:** Still, you blamed her.

**MrBOSSman2U:** What are you doing in Wesley's office, anyways?

**Spike69URFACE:** I was bored.

**Spike69URFACE:**ou can't see it, but I'm pouting.

**Spike69URFACE:** *You, even! Shitting undead fingers weren't made for typing.

**Spike69URFACE**: Now I'm rolling my eyes.

**MrBOSSman2U:** So... was there a reason you sent me a message, or did you just want to be annoying?

**Spike69URFACE:**Haven't figured out how to turn the volume down, have you?

Angel sighed, sometimes he regretted spending a couple of centuries with Spike as his grand childe. Okay, he regretted it all the time.

**MrBOSSman2U:** No...

**Spike69URFACE:** It's a little knobby on the speakers.

**Spike69URFACE:** Just like a stereo Captain Forehead.

**MrBOSSman2U:** Spike, unlike you, I have a lot of work to do.

**Spike69URFACE:** What are you gonna do, fire me? HA!

**MrBOSSman2U:** No, but kicking you out in the middle of the afternoon is beginning to sound rather nice.

_**Spike69URFACE** has logged off._

Angel smirked and turned the monitor off, picking his pen up and continuing to sign the stack of documents on his desk.


	2. Thermodynamics

**AN:**_Haha! You asked and now you shall receive. Spell checking Harmony's part made my computer explode. Enjoy/Review ;]_

The most crucial point in her experiment lay just ahead, mixing two explosive chemicals correctly so the lab wouldn't implode. She sucked in a breath as she held the dropper over the vial, carefully squeezing the bulbous end. One, two, three, BLING, fourfivesixseven! Fred jumped, placing the dropper delicately down on the counter and turned to the laptop beside her. "One new message from Spike69URFACE... Great."

**Spike69URFACE**: Hey Freddles, what you doing?

**CaveBound3.14**: What do you want Spike?

**Spike69URFACE**: Testy, testy!

**CaveBound3.14**: I'm doing a very delicate experiment. You almost made the lab go kablooey!

**Spike69URFACE**: You mean **you **almost made the lab go kablooey.

**CaveBound3.14**: Spike....

**Spike69URFACE**: Gee pet, I was bored figured I'd strike up a conversation with someone.

**CaveBound3.14**: Wouldn't it make more sense for you to PM Angel? You two have more in common, what with the fangs and all.

**Spike69URFACE**: Hey! I resent that!

**CaveBound3.14**: I could always start talking about blackbody radiation and anomalies found in the heat of solids.

**Spike69URFACE**: Oh I love it when you talk dirty to me baby.

**CaveBound3.14**: Or we could always discuss the laws of thermodynamics and the introduction of the single concept of entropy.

**Spike69URFACE**: Your no fun.

**CaveBound3.14**: Physics is plenty fun, Spike.

**Spike69URFACE**: Fine. Have it your way. I'm going to talk to someone else.

Fred picked the dropper back up, "Works like a charm." The mixture fizzled and released a puff of smoke, "In theory anyways."

–

Spike closed the dialogue box and sighed breathlessly, going through the list of contacts on the messaging system. "Ponce. Ninny. Weirdo. Creep... Ah, there you are."

**Spike69URFACE**: Hey sweet cheeks! Whats cookin?

**LilAngel25**: Hey Spikey!

**Spike69URFACE**: What you doin, filing more of Captain Forehead's crap?

**LilAngel25**: lol no im filin my nailz.

**Spike69URFACE**: Harm, you do realize that they are just going to grow back to the same length in a few seconds, right?

**LilAngel25**: Srsly?!

**LilAngel25**: OMG! No wnder im alwyz brkin my filez!

**Spike69URFACE**: What?

**Spike69URFACE**: Can you please use spell check?

**LilAngel25**: wat u mean Spikey?

**Spike69URFACE**: Never mind. What's the boss man up to?

**LilAngel25**: in a meetin w sum imprtant clientz

**Spike69URFACE**: Oh, thats perfect!

**Spike69URFACE**: I'll PM you later Harm, I gotta go for now.

He closed the box and ignored her before she could respond and opened a new chat window. Spike cut and pasted a link into the dialogue box, awaiting the response eagerly.

The meeting was going well, Wesley had been present to translate as Angel didn't speak G'nesh. The demons looked pleased, well as pleased as angry looking beasts could. He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by a familiar BLING coming from the laptop in front of him. Sighing he opened it, "Excuse me for one moment gentlemen...women...whatever you are. Wesley could you continue while I see what Spike wants?"

Wesley nodded and continued translating, then took over shifting to the next matter at hand. The ritualistic eating of human flesh.

Angel opened the message window and clicked on the blue link, waiting for the page to load. He tapped his fingers a bit and his eyes widened as he saw the picture. It was a picture of two men, very fit, wearing ass less chaps and holding hands. Then the sound kicked in.

"HELLO EVERYBODY! I AM LOOKING AT GAY PORN ON MY COMPUTER! EVERYBODY LOOK! GAY PORN RIGHT HERE! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING BUT I CAN NOT CONTAIN MY INNER DESIRE FOR-"

Angel closed the browser window, if he could fluster he would have and began typing.

**MrBOSSman2U**: My first reaction is to be extremely pissed off, but I have to admit that's pretty funny.

**Spike69URFACE**: What, no yelling?

**Spike69URFACE**: And here I thought I was going to be entertained by your reaction. Silly me.

**Spike69URFACE**: I'm rolling my eyes, again!

**MrBOSSman2U**: I'm going to send that to Gunn later. See if I can make him blush.

**Spike69URFACE**: ANGEL! Your racist!

**MrBOSSman2U**: No.... I'm... Yeah maybe a little bit.

**Spike69URFACE**: Well get out the hoods and robes, daddy's going out tonight!

**MrBOSSman2U**: No I'm not! I would never... except that one time... but I was DRUNK! Very drunk!

**Spike69URFACE**: Good thing they didn't have you carry the cross, eh?

**MrBOSSman2U**: Say what you want about the KKK Spike. Aside from some extremely misguided views about the African American race, they're some nice people.

**Spike69URFACE**: I can't believe I'm hearing this from you of all people.

**MrBOSSman2U**: Okay this is sounding worse and worse the more I try and explain myself.

**MrBOSSman2U**: All I'm trying to say is they are a lot of fun to get hammered with.

**Spike69URFACE**: You'd have fun getting hammered with my dead Grandmother!

**MrBOSSman2U**: So...

**Spike69URFACE**: Well, this did turn out to be entertaining.

**MrBOSSman2U**: I hate you.

**Spike69URFACE**: Now, now hate is a strong word love.

**MrBOSSman2U**: I have extreme feelings of dislike for you at all times.

**MrBOSSman2U**: Better?

**Spike69URFACE**: LOL

**MrBOSSman2U**: What?

**Spike69URFACE**: It means laughing out loud.

**MrBOSSman2U**: Oh, lol.

**Spike69URFACE**: Don't ever say that again.

**MrBOSSman2U**: Why?

**Spike69URFACE**: Because you don't laugh out loud in real life. It just sounds wrong on the computer.

**MrBOSSman2U**: Yes I DO!

**Spike69URFACE**: Oh yeah? When?

**MrBOSSman2U**: I don't know!

**Spike69URFACE**: Because you DON'T! The only time you've ever laughed is as Angelus. Or shit faced.

**MrBOSSman2U**: Fine. Wanna get shit faced after work?

**Spike69URFACE**: Thought you'd never ask.

**MrBOSSman2U**: Scotch?

**Spike69URFACE**: I thought you hated me. Glenlivet, of course!

**MrBOSSman2U**: Yeah, but your pretty funny when your drunk. I got a bottle of that upstairs.

**Spike69URFACE**: I'm funny all the time. You always knew your drink well, I'll give you that much.

**MrBOSSman2U**: No, your not. Yes, I do. I gotta go Spike. Wesley's about to wrap up the meeting with the G'nesh demons.

**Spike69URFACE**: Ick, flesh eaters. Gives me the heebies.

**MrBOSSman2U**: Bye Spike.

_**MrBOSSman2U** has logged out._


	3. Here's to Budapest

**AN:** _Oh man. This is crack, pure white rock hard crack. Don't hate me LOL. Also, pretend -as if we already aren't- that the chatnames are in bold. I'm being ultra lazy right now sorry. ;] Enjoy/Review._

The night hours seemed to run laps around him as they always did and looking to the clock he winced. Running frustrated hands over his face he slipped them under the glasses, tossing them a disinterested glance as they clattered to the desk. The urge to slam them between the book he'd been studying for the past six hours was overwhelming and he stood, closing the book and tucked it under his arm. Wesley made his way to the elevator and went up to Angel's apartment. He usually checked in with Angel before leaving, so as to keep each other up to date with clients. The doors opened with a cheery ding and he stepped out into the apartment. He rounded the corner of the hallway and his eyeballs tripled in size.

The sight before him was almost too much to bear. No amount of any kind of training could have prepared him for it. It was horrible. It was shocking. It was... hilarious? Holding back a laugh he watched the two vampires tango around the living room. Wesley sucked his lower lip in and chewed at it. Yes, perhaps that would stop the giggles. Maybe he should just back away, silently as possible to the elevator and never speak of this again. Yes, that would do. One step. Two steps. Thr- where the fuck did that table come from?! The small racket drew the attention of the two vampires and Wesley froze mid step. "Ah, Angel... I see you've taken to giving dance lessons after hours." He stiffened before taking a few steps forward, grasping the book with both hands and letting them fall to his waist.

"After hours? I didn't realize this place had any hours other than of operation cupcake." Spike, discarded by Angel who now had both hands stuffed awkwardly into his pockets, moved to take the bottle in his hands. "Fancy a drink love?"

Angel's eyes darted nervously around the room, focusing on anything but the other two. "Um. I... He?"

"I bet him he couldn't tango worth a crap. I lost." Spike took a few steps forward, offering the bottle to Wesley. "Have some, it'll take the initial shock away."

Wesley grabbed the bottle, tossing it back and handed it back. "I don't think that worked."

"I've got three more bottles." Angel moved to the couch, taking the bottle from Spike on his way. He drank three long, gulping swallows. "I don't suppose you've got any other bets Spike?"

Spike stuck his bottom lip out, drawing his cheeks taught as if in deep thought. "Not just yet." Spike sat on the other end of the couch, taking Angel's laptop into his lap.

Wesley looked around the room, debating if he should run or not.

"Have a seat watcher boy." Spike typed furiously, as if the speed of typing would make the machine run faster. "Throw back some drinks. I won't bite." He winked, returning his attention to the laptop as the video loaded.

"What the hell are you watching?" Angel glanced towards the laptop screen. "Did I just see what I think I saw?"

Wesley shifted nervously before moving to stand over Spike. "Smurf sex? I knew you were weird Spike, but I never fathomed this."

Spike giggled, "They're smurfing you prude, it's perfectly natural. I see nothing wrong with it."

Wesley rolled his eyes and gestured for the bottle, drinking at great length before returning it to Angel. "I don't think three bottles is going to be enough."

Spike69URFACE: Hey peachessssssssssaaz!

ONEgunn: What do you want, Spike?

_MrBOSSman2U has joined the chat._

MrBOSSman2U: Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!1111

ONEgunn: Um... hi?

Spike69URFACE: We thot we would invit u upstaiers fir a drink.

_ROGUElibraryHUNTER has joined the chat._

ROGUElibraryHUNTER: Hellllooooooooo

MrBOSSman2U: Ah, Weslys her!1!!

ONEgunn: What the fuck?

ONEgunn: Nice name Wes.

Spike69URFACE: Haha! All we need is Fredddlesss and we're all hre!

Spike69URFACE: Gunn, whers Fred?

ONEgunn: I don't know.

Spike69URFACE: OH thts right, u lost to watchr boy!

ROGUElibraryHUNTER: Oooooooo burn!

MrBOSSman2U: LOL

MrBOSSman2U: Whers Frd Wes?

Spike69URFACE: Hahaha! He caches on quik, doesn he!

MrBOSSman2U: Me?

Spike69URFACE: Yes you panty sniffer!

ROGUElibraryHUNTER: I dont knw wher Fred isz she probably home sleepn

ONEgunn: If this wasn't so entertaining I'd ignore all of you.

MrBOSSman2U: I am NOT a panty sniffr!

Spike69URFACE: ARE SO!

Spike69URFACE: Is that how you feel thn, Gunn? Awfl mean of u.

MrBOSSman2U: It ws that ONE time in Prgue! He wn't let it go!

Spike69URFACE: It was more than ONE time cupcake! I'm starting to sober up. Angelcake be a dearie and toss old Spikey the bottle.

MrBOSSman2U: Ths is why I hat you Spike. Wes hs th botl

ONEgunn: HAHA!

Spike69URFACE: You hat me? Wes, alcohol now!

MrBOSSman2U: H A T E fuck!

Spike69URFACE: You hate me and want to fuck me? Sounds just like you. Pfft!

ROGUElibraryHUNTER: Freds in lab. Hng on Spik!

MrBOSSman2U: SPIKE!

ONEgunn: How do you know where Fred is? Are all three of you in the same room, talking to each other on your computers?

Spike69URFACE: Oh please! Don't tell me you forgot about that time in Budapest?

MrBOSSman2U: And those two times in Hungary. NO, I cant frget. Phtographc memry!

ROGUElibraryHUNTER: im tlkin to her thats how! Nd yes we ar in sme rom.

Spike69URFACE: Awe! You do think about me! I'm touched. Warms my black little heart it does.

MrBOSSman2U: So wht if I do. I cn do whtevr I want wen Im brooing.

Spike69URFACE: Brooing?

MrBOSSman2U: B R O O D I N G

ONEgunn: TMI PEOPLE! T M I! And you guys are l o s e r s.

ROUGUElibraryHUNTER: I cld hav dealt withot tht info myslef.

Spike69URFACE: He admits it! He BROODS! About me... ick.

MrBOSSman2U: Spike.... im going to steake u.

Spike69URFACE: Your going to throw a cut of meat at me? And we are NOT losers. It's more fun this way.

ROGUElibraryHUNTER: ROFLCOPTER!

ONEgunn: Roflcopter? Wtf is that?

MrBOSSman2U: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111!!!!!!!!!!

ROGUElibraryHUNTER: rolling in th flor laghing but... like a helicopter. IDK

_CaveBound3.14 has joined the chat._

ONEgunn: Fred help, they are all drunk.

ROGUElibraryHUNTER: Fred! Yu came!

CaveBound3.14: Still in the lab, was just finishing up when you messaged me Wesley.

CaveBound3.14: They are? Oh no.

Spike69URFACE: FREDDLES!

MrBOSSman2U: Hai FRED!

CaveBound3.14: I see now. I should've known something was up when Wesley typoed my name five times in a row.

ROGUElibraryHUNTER: Frd, u shld cum upstrs

ONEgunn: Don't do it Fred.

CaveBound3.14: Just because you said don't do it, I'm going to Charles.

ONEgunn: 8-|

CaveBound3.14: I'll be there in a few minutes.

_CaveBound3.14 has left the chat._

Spike69URFACE: Watcher boy wins again!

MrBOSSman2U: Tht was a low blow.

Spike69URFACE: What did you expect from me, honestly?

ROGUElibraryHUNTER: Huzzah Freds cmn!

ONEgunn: I'm outtie. I got shit to do.

_ONEgunn has left the chat._

Spike69URFACE: Gone off to lick his wounds.

MrBOSSman2U: Prbly. That ws harsh.

ROGUElibraryHUNTER: were losers

MrBOSSman2U: yeah

Spike69URFACE: We know, pet.

_ROGUElibraryHUNTER has left the chat._

Spike69URFACE: Just us, eh Peaches?

MrBOSSman2U: Oh no, don't strt calling me Peaches.

MrBOSSman2U: I'm strting to be sober agn.

Spike69URFACE: Why not? I like calling you Peaches ;-).

MrBOSSman2U: We both know where thats going to gt us.

Spike69URFACE: And what's wrong with that, huh?

MrBOSSman2U: Pleanty of things Spike, plenty.

Spike69URFACE: You enjoyed it in Budapest.

MrBOSSman2U: That ws in Budapest.

Spike69URFACE: I'm pouting, look.

Spike69URFACE: Your not looking.

MrBOSSman2U: I'm afraid to.

Spike69URFACE: Why?

MrBOSSman2U: Can't say no to th pout.

Spike69URFACE: You always were one for pouty types as Angel. Angelus would have never stood for it.

MrBOSSman2U: Can we not get into Angelus right now?

Spike69URFACE: Touchy! As long as you look at me, I'll drop it.

MrBOSSman2U: FINE!

MrBOSSman2U: Oh fuck you an ypur pouty face.

Spike69URFACE: Still gonna say no?

MrBOSSman2U: Got the rest of that bottle?

Spike69URFACE: Yes, your not looking but I'm wiggling it seductively.

MrBOSSman2U: Damn you and your seductive wiggling.

MrBOSSman2U: Fred is here. After I drink the rest of that bottle, we'll talk about it.

Spike69URFACE: Sweet!

_MrBOSSman2U has left the chat._

Spike69URFACE: Hello?

Spike69URFACE: Hello?

Spike69URFACE: Echo!!

Spike69URFACE: Echo!!

Spike69URFACE: Your an idiot!

Spike69URFACE: Your an idiot!

Spike69URFACE: Angel's right, I am annoying.

Spike69URFACE: Angel's right, I am annoying.

_Spike69URFACE has left the chat._


	4. Spike69YOURFACE!

**AN:** Uhm.. HAHA! I'm running out of ideas for this one... So leave me with a review of something you'd like to see in upcoming chapters ;] I know there isn't any messaging system in this one, but I think... it's... okay? Apologies for the shortness ;[

Angel opened his eyes, but his vision was somehow still obscured. He struggled to sit up and lifted a hand to his face, tearing the object that was misconstruing his sight. He glanced down at the paper and raised a brow at the stick figures upon it. A stick figure, nearly the size of the paper, stood with an arrow pointing to it that exclaimed "SPIKE!!". The larger stick figure was holding a much smaller stick figure up by the ankles, allowing it's head – covered in gravity defying spiky hair- to cover the larger stick figure's crotch. The arrow stemming from the smaller figure read "69 ANGEL'S FACE!!!". He sighed and crumpled the paper, tossing it over his shoulder onto the bed and stood to stretch. The last thing he remembered was logging off the chat last night, something very uncharacteristic for him. It took a lot to get the Vampire buzzed, no less drunk.

He trudged across the room, spying two empty bottles of cheap red wine. "Huh..." He poked at one with his big toe and continued to the door opening it to survey the living room. Wesley slept, somehow, half hanging off the back of the couch, his book placed over his head like a paper hat. "Okay..." Before he could take a step from the room he heard a groan, followed by a shuffling of blankets and turned around in their direction.

A pile of blankets rose, "Ohhhh...bloody HELL!" and they blankets were angry.

"Um...?" He let the m hang in the air, adding a questioning inflection at the end.

"Good morning, Peaches." Said the blankets, shuffling off to reveal a very disheveled and very naked Spike.

Angel looked down at himself, not having noticed he was clad in a pair of black boxer briefs. "UMM?"

"Glad to hear your feeling well." Spike began to take a step forward but his ankles were tied together in the knotted sheets and made a very fast, somewhat painful greeting with the carpeting. "Peaches," He began, speaking into the carpet and not making a move to look up, "would you be a dear and fetch my pants?"

Angel raised a brow, it was comical but he was still trying to finger around his muddled brain for a memory of the previous night. "Yeah... I... uh..." He moved around the bedroom, peeling Spike's jeans from the ceiling fan, "could do that... I guess." Moving to the other side, closer to Spike, he pulled a pair of dark silky red boxers from his bedside lamp. He deposited them next to Spike's head, the belt buckle clanking to the ground.

"Ohhhh good lord." A horrible sounding English accent echoed from the living room, sound of a book flopping to the floor following.

Angel turned back around headed for the living room and upon spying it's occupants decided that this room was, in fact, no less awkward than his own.

Wesley slid over the back end of the couch, flopping over himself onto his back, legs and arms splayed out, simply lacking the energy to do anything about it. His pants were undone, but not off, belt flopping – quite flaccidly, I might add – to his right. "My head feels like a burrowing Keslah demon's been living in it for months."

"Mine feels like a thermonuclear reaction gone wrong." A meek, just as pitiful sounding, female voice came from the other side of the couch, a head flopping to rest by it's chin on the back of the couch.

"Ehhh?" Wesley gazed up, tilting his head. "Morning Fred."

She peeled her eyes open and gazed down at him, all too happy smile plastering across her features. "Morning Wesley!" The excitement was not given lightly and she clutched her head as the headache set in.

Angel adjusted his voice, causing them to look in his direction. "Lets uh... never speak of this again."

Black nail polished fingers slid across Angel's chest, digging in pleasantly as they did, accompanied by, "Don't be shy, pet."

Angel's feature's smouldered, "Spike, go **away**."

Spike pushed past him, pouting, and into the living room as he shrugged his shirt on, "Fine, have it your way. But I'm taking the day off."

"Me too." Fred chimed, sloping back to lay on the couch.

"Me three." Wesley put his head back on the ground, using his book as a pillow.

Angel padded naked feet across the living room to the desk in the far corner of the room and spoke into the triangle. "Harmony!"

"Yeah Bossy?"

He sighed, "Cancel mine, Fred and Wesley's appointments." He released the button, only to push it again, "And blood, two mugs."

"Anything else?"

"Yeah..." He paused for a second, "Don't call me Bossy."

"Sure thing Bossy!"

Angel rolled his eyes and retired to sitting on the lazy boy, flipping the TV on a low volume. "Never," He flipped a channel, "speak," another channel, "of this" another channel, "again."

Wesley made a strange sound, but it was close to agreement as he crawled across the floor, slithering up the side of the couch to settle in behind Fred.

Fred shifted happily and snuggled into Wesley with a slight cooing noise.

"You know," Spike began, "The only sure cure for a hangover is a stiff drink." He settled into the other lazy boy, reclining and crossing one ankle over the other.

"I can't believe I'm saying it, but he's right." Angel shifted, digging under the lazy boy and came up with an unopened bottle of Pinot Grigio.

"When in sam hell did you sneak that under there?"

"When we were in the chat room." Angel opened it, it already having been uncorked last night, and took a few long swallows before corking it and tossing it to Spike.

Spike caught the bottle and drank from it, corking it before waggling it in front of Wesley who had one eye ball peeled open.

Wesley took it and shifted, moving with Fred as they both sat up. He took a few sips, offering it to her. "Angel," He began but raised a brow finally taking the Vampire's form into view, "why are you mostly naked?"

"And covered in hickeys?" Fred added, speaking through a sip before handing the bottle back to Wesley.

Angel looked down at himself, his healing process was accelerated and he could only imagine what the hickeys would have looked like if it wasn't. "Never speak of it again."

Wesley looked between Angel and Spike, slinking back into the couch as realization hit, "I'm going to pretend that Spike is a very attractive blonde hooker and then pretend that I'm not laughing at the thought."

"Shouldn't be hard to imagine." Angel bit his bottom lip as a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

"Oi! Peaches!" He began to retaliate, but was cut off by Angel.

"What? You always said I have a strange fascination with all things blonde." Angel flipped a channel, leaving it on a cheezy horror flick. "By the way, how's your arse feel?"

Wesley plugged his ears as Fred made a "La la la la la la I'm in my happy place" song up.

Spike pouted and rose as the elevator dinged, signaling the arrival of blood. "Thanks Harm." He used his palm to push her face back into the elevator as he took the tray from her. A 'HEY!" coming from behind the doors as they closed. He took one mug, handing the tray to Angel before sitting back in the recliner and settled in for a very uncomfortable silence.


	5. MrBABYsittingMAN2U!

**AN:**_ Fluffiness!!!!!!!! And a few laughs. Hope you all enjoy and please review. If you have a moment pop on over to my other story Sense Memory and let me know what you think. I'll give you a virtual cookie! ;] That said... read on!_

CaveBound3.14: Angel, we need to talk.

Angel raised a brow at the screen, Fred never needed to talk to him for anything. Well, not anything good anyways.

MrBOSSman2U: Whats up Fred?

CaveBound3.14: I just got off the phone with my Mom, my cousin Francine and her husband Mike got into a car accident and they need someone to watch their twins.

MrBOSSman2U: ….And?

CaveBound3.14: It seems I'll be the only one available...

MrBOSSman2U: You need to take time off?

CaveBound3.14: Well, it's not that simple actually.

CaveBound3.14: I'm in the middle of an important project and if I stop now I'll loose my momentum. They might be running around the office for a few weeks...

MrBOSSman2U: Twins running around Wolfram and Hart? Fred...

CaveBound3.14: I know, that's what I said, but it seems they are already on their way here.

MrBOSSman2U: Okay... I guess. What time are they coming?

CaveBound3.14: Any minute...

Fred cringed at the screen, imagining his huffy and brow creasing reaction.

Angel sighed, flexing his fists before replying.

MrBOSSman2U: And you can't get a baby sitter?

CaveBound3.14: Angel they're family!

MrBOSSman2U: Alright then....

The triangle on his desk screeched with feedback before bringing Harmony's voice into the room, "Bossy, there's some kids here for you. Wesley's bringing them into your office."

MrBOSSman2U: Why is Wesley bringing them into my office?

Cavebound3.14: Important project. I'll get them a little later, Wesley said your schedule was open today...

MrBOSSman2U: I'd growl but they're staring at me in the most adorable way.

MrBOSSman2U: I'll talk to you later, Fred.

_MrBOSSman2U has signed out._

_MrBOSSman2U has signed in._

_MrBOSSman2U has signed out._

Angel turned off the monitor and peered back at the pair of eyes peering over the edge of his desk.

"Girls, this is Angel. He's going to watch you until Fred gets done with some of her work."

The twins shifted, glancing at each other before fixing their gaze on Angel again.

"Angel this is Molly and Kathy." He pointed to each of them as he spoke their names and snuck out of the office, closing the doors behind him.

Angel blinked as the twins came around the side of his desk, each standing on one side of him.

"His ears are funny." Molly said.

"He has a big forehead!"

Angel touched his forehead and sighed, "So girls, what do you like to do for fun?"

Kathy knelt down, opening her backpack and spilled it out on the floor. An array of crayons and colored barrettes scattered among the mixture. Molly moved to the pile and helped her sister pick out a few objects before turning to face Angel.

"Angel?"

"Yes, Kathy?"

"Come down here please."

They were polite, leaving him no room to say no, so he shifted to sit Indian style on the carpeted floor. He felt the twins messing in his hair, a few of the teeth from assorted hair combs poking him in the scalp. "Oww, be careful up there!"

They giggled in unison, "Sorry Angel!"

Spike whistled the tune to Henry the Eighth as he made his way down the hallway and darted past Harmony to the safety of Angel's office. The sight before him would have made a mime laugh and he swallowed back a small fit of laughter, crossing his arms over his chest.

Angel had a girl tucked under each arm and spun in circles until he collapsed with them in a dizzy giggling pile on the floor.

"Again, again!" Molly wobbled a little but stood over him, helping his sister up before they both offered a hand to Angel.

"Don't you guys ever get tired?"

"No," Offered Kathy, "Do you?"

"Good point." He sat up, Spike coming into his dizzy view. "Spike..."

Now he did laugh. "Oh that's bloody brilliant!"

A rainbow of bows and barrettes adorned Angel's head, two rosy blush spots filled his cheeks. "Spike, shut up."

"Spike?" The girls questioned and moved tu run in circles around Spike, hiding themselves under his leather duster.

"Spike?" Molly peeked out from under the duster.

"Yes poppet?"

"Come play with us and Uncle Angel."

"Uncle Angel?" He rose a brow and looked down at the two peeking out of his jacket, "Oh, alright. As long as you promise to put more makeup on Uncle Angel!"

"Yay!" They exclaimed, wrapping their arms and legs around Spike's legs as he walked over to Angel.

"So Uncle Angel, shall we play a riveting game of dress up?"

It was nearly eight thirty before Fred made it to Angel's office and she creaked the door open, spying four sleeping figures on the floor and smiled. Molly and Kathy nestled themselves under Angel's arms, barrettes and blush adorning most of Spike's and Angel's faces. She giggled softly at the sight and moved to poke Angel lightly in the side. His eyes shot open first to her and then to the sleeping twins under his arms. "Hey." She crouched down, goofy smile plastered on her face.

Angel nodded, barrettes wobbling about in his hair and he scooped both of the girls up as he stood, careful not to wake them. Fred held her arms out to take them, Angel took a step back holding his body in a defensive position. "I think they should stay."

"Angel." She folded her arms over her chest.

"I mean, I've got plenty of room upstairs."

"Angel."

"Don't you think they've traveled enough today?"

She rolled her eyes, "Fine, they can sleep over tonight." She moved about the room collecting the girl's things and discarding left over Happy Meals into the trash bin and followed him to the elevator. "What about Spike?"

The barrettes in his head wobbled as he held back a laugh, "The cleaning woman will find him in the morning."


End file.
